roots of evil

as I get older I have come to the realization that I am horrible with money. I knew this when I was younger too, I will however now admit it, to myself and the world. Now comes the time when I try and fix this. The easiest way would be to get Doc to let me borrow the Delorian, return to spring of 2003 and slap the shit out of myself for buying a new car. thats 350 a month that could have been put into a savings account. however hind sight is 20/20 and I cannot fix past mistakes, only learn from them.

Having these economic problems on my mind daily I have come to think about money as my mind drifts into day dreams. Today I saw some kids getting out of school and I thought of the low pay that a public school teacher gets (they do get the benefit of summers off so many of them will supplement income during those 2 months) but I for one am an advocate of a more European Education system and don't believe our students should have 2 months off every year ( a topic for later). I then thought of all of the cuts in the education system lately, Bus routes, teachers, arts and music, languages, sports. all of this directly relates to us as citizens in our own school districts. we vote on the levy's or raises in taxes, and when they don't pass cuts have to be made.

I turn now to our sick and disgusting habit of spending money on things we do not need to sustain life: booze, cigs, big tv's, fast food, bigger tv's, new cell phones(I am very guilty of this one in particular), gas for our suburbans, anything apple makes and the list goes on and on and on. check this out though. are we not the same people who complain about another raise in taxes? vote no on issues that will give our children a better education and supply more jobs to people who need them. but heaven help us if we dont have 270 HD channels, a pack of cigs so we can "socially" smoke them while we drop an 80.00 tab + tip over the weekend and a vacation every march!

this was my thought process in the matter of about 60 seconds. I feel our spending habits directly effect the drop in the public education system. because we are not looking at the big picture... don't make me spell it out. ok I will... smart and talented kids = better job opportunities = more income for them = better retirement for us. (and that is the SELFISH way to look at it). How about the positives? Kids off the streets, less crime, more small businesses, more jobs so on and so on.

Is it not time we all start to re-prioritize our spending? I will be the first to admit to all of you. I'm the worst. THE WORST. so take it from me, i'm not throwing stones, just yearning for a movement in all of us. I'll do my best, but there is a WOOT OFF today. Shit! maybe I'll start tomorrow.

Don't read this, its boring.

Whoa! I made it a whole week without drinking. Three more to go. Despite my early belief, it has not been a difficult task. I think that when you set your mind to something and have honestly weighed out the pro's on con's of your decision, it becomes easier to accomplish. 

Whenever you quit something negative you are suppose to replace it with a positive. when I quit smoking I purchased a gym membership that same day. when I quit eating fast food I started buying more fruits and vegetables. the whole not drinking thing is a bit different. I'm not just cutting out a vice but also a fair amount of time spent socializing. so instead of joining a book club or going to play bingo on wed nights I decided that I would just force myself to pick up old and new hobbies. Photography, collecting Vinyl (currently listening to Crosby, Stills & Nash (Young is on this one as well)). 

Now comes the big test, I need some motivation from friends for this one. I want to try stand up comedy. I have been jotting things down for a while now and thinking of putting together a 3-5 min test routine. should I test it in front of strangers or friends? I'm thinking strangers. I just need to do this to prove to myself I can. and if i suck? well then screw you, it was obviously over your head. 

yeah, time to go. laundry to avoid putting away. money to deposit and then immediately watch disappear and a mother to convince to do my taxes for me. I don't care that I am 27! shes better at it then I am. maybe while shes at it she will put away my laundry for me too. (PS- I do not live at home) 

ohm BTW my good friend Daniel has a blog now. He rants about things that annoy him, and I justly agree with him.

DO WHAT YOU WANT

Do what you want! Yeah, that's what I said. Do exactly what you want to do. My friends and I tell each other this often. it has become a motto of sorts for ourselves. It seems simple but it is heavily based on a ratio of rational/emotional decision making, 70/30. There comes a time in every person life when they start having to make very tough decisions and in the end my advice for every person is to do what they want. this goes for very simple decisions too, but base them off the 70/30 rule.

Now, I want you all to know that I don't make all my decisions on my own. I enlist the help of an advice panel consisting of a few friends... My buddies, Jay and John, head this panel. one is very rational and the other is a complete ass hole. then I go to my Father because he has lived life and made every mistake that I plan on making. lastly I go to God. You know, the big man in the sky. He doesn't so much talk to me as he does guide me sub-consciously. notice that my panel is all male. its because I am a man and I need advice from other men. They are rational and heavily base the decision making in there own lives on ration and then on emotion (70/30). This goes for woman too, call your FATHERS for advice, not your mothers (sorry mom I love you to pieces but all my crazy emotions come from you, I thank you for every single one of them, but my father levels the playing field). Think of woman as 10/90 in decision making ratio. You need to talk to a 70/30 type of man to even you at about 50/50... I know the math of this does not work out but women in general are a scientific phenomenon, so deal with it.

Now comes the "do what you want" part. You have thought things over, talked with friends and maybe even made a pro's and con's list (a good idea if you still can't figure out what the hell you are doing with your life). so whats the last step? Throw all that shit out the door and... wait for it... DO WHAT YOU WANT! i'm only half joking here. All the advice in the world won't stop you from making an emotional decision. Thats why when you end up making the wrong one occasionally (which you will), you always have this little motto to fall back on: "I do what I want!"

-Nathan

Hitting the snooze on life

I love hitting the snooze button in the morning to snatch just a few extra minutes of sleep. I do it even when I don't have time. Lately, however I feel as if I have been hitting the snooze button on life. I wrote something last summer that sums up my feeling on this. Letter to myself:

Dear Nathan,

Wake Up!
I'm not joking.
wake up!
its time to awake from this dream
what have you been doing for so long?
who are you and where are you going?
clean up
start fresh
prioritize 
put first what belongs first
focus your abilities 
take charge and dont look back

what have you been doing the last 4 years?
dosnt look like much to me
I'm not trying to be an ass about it but seriously..
you look like a mess
you put up walls that even a child could break down
your facade is paper thin
and you tell yourself lies to make it seem like eveything is ok

I dont want to have to be the one to tell you this
but its not 
everything is not ok and you know it
you dont have what it takes to admit it so im going to do it for you..
WAKE UP!
start living right.
start doing it right
make the most of the day
treat people the right way
get back to your roots
own up to mistakes 
remember who your real friends are
I know its hard to hear this and you may just shut me out 
but sooner or later you will thank me for being so honest with you
I hate to see you like this 
and I'm only telling you this because I love you. 
and I dont want you to go down this road any further.
so get it together.

cut the crap and just get it together.

sincerly,
Nathan

That pretty much sums up how I feel. Quick side note about day 2 of not drinking. I found myself starting to pour a drink about half a dozen times. I think its going to take at least a week before reality of the situation sets in on my half used brain. 

The Conley's and Peer Pressure

So I have a Blog. I'm sitting at the kitchen table at the Conleys house, thanks for the blog name Alie, writing my first blog.

so yeah, bloggy time....

I quit drinking today. just for 30 days (to start). since I know people are going to ask me why:

1. Willpower
2. Money
3. Health
(in order of importance)

so yeah, this will be fun (sarcasm people). In an effort to keep my first blog post short and to the point I'm going to wrap it up right now. I'm not a creative enough writer to hold your attention span longer then 3 minutes. maybe this should have been a video blog. I hate the word Vlog.


-Cheers (with coffee or water obviously)