Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Hitting the snooze on life

I love hitting the snooze button in the morning to snatch just a few extra minutes of sleep. I do it even when I don't have time. Lately, however I feel as if I have been hitting the snooze button on life. I wrote something last summer that sums up my feeling on this. Letter to myself:

Dear Nathan,

Wake Up!
I'm not joking.
wake up!
its time to awake from this dream
what have you been doing for so long?
who are you and where are you going?
clean up
start fresh
put first what belongs first
focus your abilities 
take charge and dont look back

what have you been doing the last 4 years?
dosnt look like much to me
I'm not trying to be an ass about it but seriously..
you look like a mess
you put up walls that even a child could break down
your facade is paper thin
and you tell yourself lies to make it seem like eveything is ok

I dont want to have to be the one to tell you this
but its not 
everything is not ok and you know it
you dont have what it takes to admit it so im going to do it for you..
start living right.
start doing it right
make the most of the day
treat people the right way
get back to your roots
own up to mistakes 
remember who your real friends are
I know its hard to hear this and you may just shut me out 
but sooner or later you will thank me for being so honest with you
I hate to see you like this 
and I'm only telling you this because I love you. 
and I dont want you to go down this road any further.
so get it together.

cut the crap and just get it together.


That pretty much sums up how I feel. Quick side note about day 2 of not drinking. I found myself starting to pour a drink about half a dozen times. I think its going to take at least a week before reality of the situation sets in on my half used brain. 

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